Domestic Violence and Dina

D’var Torah  Clergy Task Force  Jewish Women International

Cantor Deborah Katchko-Gray  Temple Shearith Israel Ridgefield,CT

When I was asked to give a d’var Torah for the Clergy Task Force, I hoped I would have something relevant to share given our focus on domestic violence. Looking at the Torah portion last week, Vayishlach,

 the story of Jacob transitioning to the story of Israel and the rape of Dinah and subsequent  slaughter of the city of Shechem, I knew there was more than enough to delve into.

In the story of Dinah, I find much of it terribly disturbing-

Dinah, Jacob’s only daughter “ goes out ( vatetze) to see the daughers of the land” and is raped. In those times, if a woman went out they could be taken into captivity and / or raped. Shechem,, prince of the Hivites, sees Dina and “takes her” and lays with her. However, the text also says Shechem loves Dinah, his soul cleaves to her ( vatikbak nafsho_) Shechem wanted to marry Dina, but her brothers demanded that all the men of Shechem get circumcised, when they do, Simeon and Levi Dina’s brothers killed them.  Rashi believes Shechem and his father Hamor wanted the Jews’ cattle and property and wished through assimilation, to incorporate it all. Phyllis Chesler thinks Rashi has a good point- She says, “ few rapists fall in love with their victoms, unless they see further gain for themselves. It is rare for a kidnapper-rapist to hold a beloved hostage while he negotiates with a potential father in law for her hand in marriage. “

 Simeon and Levi rescued their sister Dina from the house of Shechem, but then kill all the men in the family.  Ellen Frankel, in her commentary on the Torah, says that the brothers recognized that honor stolen can never be recouped. Hamor, the father of Shechem proposed a payment which may have turned the rape into prostitution.

Survivors of rape, torture or genocide say the most lasting harm occurs when the victim is blamed, and the pain minimized or mocked.

I wish that Dina’s brothers had chosen to confront Shechem, and deal just with him.

I believe killing all of Shechem’s male relatives and taking the women and children into captivity was cruel and created more suffering.

The Torah does not tell us what became of Dina. In fact, it tells us nothing about Dina's thoughts or feelings. On his deathbed, Jacob blesses his sons, the future tribes of Israel. He never mentions Dina. In recent years feminist interpreters of the Torah have provided Dina with a voice in imaginative retellings of her story. When the UN Security Council passed Resolution 1325, its members made a commitment to work towards a world in which women's voices would always be heard.

In a searing commentary, Phyllis Chesler, a feminist psychologist, dissects the reactions to the rape of Dina. Her brothers take revenge by killing Shechem and all the men of his community. Their father, Jacob, reprimands them for their overreaction. Yes, it is an overreaction, writes Chesler, but we can also learn something from it. The brothers treat the rape as a capital crime and rescue their sister from her tormentor. Their outrage and sense of urgency are unusual and admirable.

There is a lesson here for us. It is important to act in the face of injustice.   My teacher and mentor, Elie Wiesel, says we must act quickly when faced with injustice and hate.   Each of us can do something about domestic violence, and being part of this task force is an important step along the way to insure that we are prepared when faced with the injustice of domestic violence to act quickly, support the victims and work towards justice. One final thought, my dear cousin, Cantor Leopold Szneer , a Holocaust survivor and mentor to 8 rabbis in his long 55 year career, taught me: There are blessings for everything in Judaism, except for giving tzedakah. It is more important to act and do act of tzedakah, of justice, then to take the time to say a prayer. Our actions speak louder than words-

Dina, as a victim, had no voice- Let us take action by helping victims find their voices.

May we continue to work for safety, healing and justice, and may our actions be a blessing and a prayer for a better world.

A Survivor's Story to Remember

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The Jewish Virtual Library on the internet describes the Jewish community of Kromeriz among the oldest of Europe, beginning in 1322 when one Jew as allowed to settle in the town. Moving ahead to 1940 when anti-Semitic laws flourished ending with the an attempt by the Nazis to blow up the synagogue , the community deported in l942 and the “ synagogue equipment” sent to the Central Jewish Museum in Prague.

In our gorgeous sanctuary in picturesque Ridgefield, CT with a remnant, perhaps the most important physical remnant and reminder of that small historic community of Jews in Kromeriz,  we honor our Holocaust torah.  As we remember the community of Kromeriz, I’d like to share my thoughts from a recent experience at Chapman University in April of this year.

I have been a student of Prof. Elie Wiesel since his first class at Boston University in l976.  My fascination and interest in our Holocaust history is sparked by my own family history- the two brothers and three sisters my grandfather, Cantor Adolph Katchko left behind when he was sent to America in the l920s.  I viewed every Holocaust story, film, history through the eyes of a family member who perished- Meeting my cousin Cantor Leopold Szneer 5 years ago who thought all 70 members of his father’s family perished has  been as my cousin puts it,  “ a nes min hashamayim” a miracle from heaven.  Seeing photos of these relatives, hearing names his father mentioned has brought them some measure of dignity and life in my mind. They indeed existed and here is someone who remembers them, even if it is only a memory of a name mentioned.

Cantor Leopold Szneer is an active member of the 1939 Club of Los Angeles, comprised of Holocaust survivors and extremely active and charitable in keeping the Holocaust history as a lesson for all of us. Chapman University in Orange County, California has been in the forefront  by establishing a Center for Holocaust Education, a Chair for a professor in those studies, and an amazing Holocaust Memorial Library.

I had the privilege to visit the library and experience an evening honoring my cousins, Leopold and his wife Isabelle whose Holocaust stories have been shared with countless students at Chapman University, inspiring many essays, meetings, and honors.  The community wide evening of Holocaust Remembrance was called, Metaphors of Memory  A Witness Through the Arts. Over one hundred Holocaust survivors traveled to this unique evening of remembrance. I don’t believe I will ever have that opportunity again, being in a room with one hundred elderly Holocaust survivors, many in their 80’s,90’s and upwards.

 The students chose three stories and created music and dance sections after each story was told by the survivors on a large screen, with a documentary film created for this event. After each vignette, the students danced the story with a string quartet and clarinet accompanying the dance.    The program notes explained,  “ The Holocaust strained relationships in ways that can never be fully described. While some relationships shattered, many more endured. Relationships, even when individuals were far apart, were the source of hope and the strength to survive. Sometimes in the most horrific of circumstances, new relationships of love and care were forged that gave life renewed meaning and purpose.”

 The three stories were extraordinary, but one stood out. Even my cousin, Isabelle who has attended many Holocaust related commemorative events, said it was the most moving story she ever heard. She told me about it  on the way to Chapman and seated at  the table next to us, were the subjects of that story. 

Let me share it with you-

Leon Weinstein was born in l911 in the shtetl of Radzymin, Poland. Hasidic Jews, they numbered almost 90 members. At age 12 Leon left his home to seek work in Warsaw against his parent’s wishes. Only his grandfather gave his blessing and supported his decision, saying Leon represented the future of Jewish life. This blessing helped give Leon strength in the years to come.

Leon fought on the front lines when Germany invaded Poland in Sept. 1939. Captured, he managed to escape walking 500 miles back to Radzymin. The the ghetto there, he joined the underground, smuggling arms to the resistance. Alerted by a German officer’s offhand remark, Leon fled with his wife Sima and infant daughter , Natasha Leya ( Natalie) born in l940, just before the ghetto was liquidated and its Jews sent to the death camp Treblinka. Of his large family of 90 members, only Leon survived.

The couple now focused all their efforts on saving their child.  A gentile, paid handsomely to hide Natalie, refused to risk his own family’s safety in the face of ominous Nazi threats. Homeless and with no money, Leon and Sima acted on a bold plan, abandoning Natalie in order to save her. They dressed Natalie in a heavy coat and placed a cross around her neck with a sign pinned to her stating she was the daughter of a war widow who could no longer feed her. They left her on the steps of a police station and waited around the corner watching to see if she would be discovered.

A police officer took her inside.

While Sima went into hiding, Leon returned to the Warsaw ghetto fighting in the heroic uprising. He was among the few to escape through the rat infested sewars. He never learned what happened to his wife.

At the war’s end, his only hope was to find Natalie.

For six months Leon traveled across Poland on his bicycle, searching convent orphanages. He met hundreds of pleading children, but none was his Natalie.

At last, he saw a tiny hollow-eyed little girl whom he recognized as his own. Natalie was 4 and a half years old and was left on the police station steps when she was 17 months old. 

Seated at the next table from me,  was the 101 year old Leon Weinstein. He was anxiously looking for his daughter who was a few minutes late. I went over and immediately began crying, saying it was an honor to meet him and I was hoping to meet his daughter as well. When she arrived minutes later, this vivacious and gorgeous woman, I again burst into tears. I asked her how her father knew it was her after so many years and not seeing her since a 17 month old baby, and then 4.5 years old?  She said she had a birthmark on her hip, and remembers a nun taking her into an office and pulling down her pants to check.  She said her father remembered her eyes and the birth mark-  It was a miraculous reunion- and a story I will never forget.

My visit to Chapman University will remain in my heart and mind.  Upon visiting the Holocaust Library, my cousin Poldy was anxious to show me the items he had donated along with Isabelle that were  displayed elegantly in glass cases.  When I walked in the first thing I saw was a bust of Elie Wiesel- I knew this was a special library, but now it felt just right.  My cousins had three large glass cases- one with a SHabbos Apron belonging to Isabelle’s mother, another with a gorgeous parochet- Torah ark curtain that Poldy’s uncle had saved from a synagogue destroyed by the Nazis, and a tallit from Poldy’s father, Moshe Aron, whose mother was my grandfather’s sister. Our family connection was right there- the beautiful tallit with a silver atarah displayed – I had the feeling I was as close to my Holocaust family as possible, with Poldy there, his father’s tallit in front of me, and the very next glass case, holding items donated by Elie Wiesel. 

I often believe there are no coincidences in life- sometimes things are bashert. It felt spiritually and emotionally connected to be viewing this family heirloom next to my mentor’s Holocaust history- the reason I wanted to search for years for my own family was due to my classes with Prof. Wiesel and here they were next to each other.  

The power of relationships as shown by the devotion of Leon Weinstein in searching by bike through Poland  as a survivor who wanted to put his life back together and find his daughter can inspire all of us to never give up our hopes and our dreams.

My inspiration and strength comes from learning and studying from Elie Wiesel who experienced the worst man has to offer and devotes his life to  sharing our memory through the generations as well as creating forums for world leaders and other Nobel Prize winners to explore issues of hatred, and prejudice to improve our world. His Elie Wiesel Foundation for Humanity sponsors essay contests each year for talented youth to express words of hope and humanity for a better world.

At age 82 he continues to travel the globe sharing his passion for learning, memory, peace and humanity between peoples. He continues to fight injustice wherever it occurs in the world.

My dearest cousin, Cantor Leopold Szneer inspires at almost 90 years old with a powerful voice, a presence of learning and wisdom, humor and humanity.  He is revered in the survivor community and at Chapman University where he and his wonderful elegant wife Isabelle share their Holocaust stories with students often, even though it is difficult to keep bringing these memories back to the surface. They believe the toll it takes on themselves is a worthy sacrifice to share the lessons of the Holocaust with the mostly non-Jewish students at Chapman University as they were both rescued several times by righteous gentiles, underground resistance members during those dark and terrifying years of the Shoah.

May all these memories continue through us as

” whispers within our souls which will  guide our lives. “ *

·     from the Program notes of An Evening of Holocaust Remembrance at Chapman University April 28, 2011

·     Story of Leon Weinstein from  “ Holocaust Survivors” The Indestructible Spirit

Prof. Marilyn Harran